Diary

My pet and I kept a diary for this week. I received hers this morning and I was so touched I felt it needed to be seen by the world. I love you so much my sweet pet.

Pet Diary

Day 1

Monday 19, July 2010

Hardly a day has gone by since I offered to be Steve’s pet, and I have noticed one immediate effect on me: I’m permanently aroused. We have agreed on a ‘safeword’ but I don’t see myself needing it this week. I am not too sure as to how this master/pet relationship thing works, but I think we are doing well. I feel we are walking along a thin line, though, between devotion and humiliation. Neither of us likes humiliation, so I know we will keep away from it. But the very fact that I keep addressing him as Master and Sir and accept to be His pet, isn’t it humiliating already? It does feel a bit weird in a way…I am a wee bit worried about the possible consequences and changes in our relationship. I’d like nothing to change, really, because I felt we were perfect the way we were. But it might be related to the thread I’m writing which is pretty rough and there are some elements of humiliation as whipping. Steve seems to be so elated with this, I am overjoyed to be able to give it to him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this happy, and his happiness is mine. I love the feeling of protection and possession that comes with this new status, but I felt it too before. Steve is naturally protective and caring, I really can’t believe how lucky I am. I know that whatever we decide, I will always be his little pet and he will always be my protective master, but at the same time I feel I need to care for him, and give him the kind of loving that he needs and deserves. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t respect me, on the contrary, I feel more respected and free than ever. Despite the little vertigo that I am experiencing (and perhaps because of it), I am constantly wet…dear god…help!

Day 2

Tuesday 20, July 2010

Disaster! I woke up at 5.30 as usual and couldn’t turn the bedside light on! I checked the TV set, the standby light was off…I thought well, if there’s a power cut, I might as well have a lie in and wait, after all it’s too dark still. Perhaps in an hour, I thought, it will be back to normal and I can write Sir about it. But it wasn’t!! It’s almost 7 now, and if it wasn’t for the light of the laptop screen, I’d be in total darkness. I have already phoned the light company and they said they would do something…one wonders when. I don’t have to get up this early on Tuesdays, but I like going to work early nonetheless, and I DID tell Sir I’d log and write at around 5.30, so I feel I might be causing him unnecessary worry. Anyway, Sir is so much cooler than me in that sense, and usually doesn’t panic about this kind of thing as I do. He is the wisest and coolest man in the world, I admire him so much!

I feel so nice today, despite the power cut…last night was amazing. Sir and I were so sweet with one another. It was breathtaking. He made me come twice, again. First he made me masturbate for him, and he wanted to see my face as I pleasured myself. I find that so hot, I know he loves reading my arousal in my eyes. But I struggle to keep them open, and also he was whispering sweet, sexy words to me, and pretending that he was licking and kissing me… it was so delicious. Immediately after I had come he told me to get the lube because he wanted me to come again, and this time gagged. I, of course, complied. And he masturbated with me…it was a toe-curling orgasm for me. We came almost in unison, and I still shiver at the memory. He is the most generous and sweetest master. I am madly in love with him. He pampers me so much! I love being his sweet little pet.

Day 3

Wednesday 21 July, 2010

Fortunately, the power was restored when I got home, though not the internet. I solved it but it meant that the router could not be used, and therefore we had to stay downstairs. This would be totally unimportant if it wasn’t for the fact that my neighbours could actually see me, if they paid a bit of attention, through the fabric of the curtains. Honestly, I don’t think they should be peeping in my direction, but I’d hate to be the attraction of the block. So…we couldn’t get as naked and as physically involved in each other’s pleasure as we would have liked to. However, master sent me homework which I did when and in the manner in which he told me to. I love obeying him in these things, I think it’s sexy and a challenge. Master told me to go upstairs and masturbate on all fours. He let me use lube – which I really didn’t need, I was soaking as I have been every evening since Sunday – and he told me to insert two fingers in my pussy. I seriously need to keep my fingernails trim and filed, I never come from penetration when I masturbate, probably my fingers are not long enough, or I just don’t do it right. In all fairness, I find it hard to come from penetration alone in intercourse, but it has happened (I need to be very aroused and ‘prepared’). Perhaps I should train more. I probably need to tell master about it, and I’m sure he could device a plan for me. I am working on the strength of my pelvic floor muscles, because I want to please Him better when we finally meet and also because it makes my orgasms more intense. Yesterday was awesome, so sweet and lovely. I love masturbating for Him.

Anyway, the most important thing about yesterday was that His parcel arrived! Hooray!! I was over the moon when I got it, but didn’t open it till He was here. The first thing I noticed was His smell…it brought tears to my eyes to be smelling Him for the first time. I was laughing and crying from sheer happiness. He sent a tee and a pair of boxers. I immediately wanted to wear them, and I still have them on this morning. I promised to wear the boxers every day till Sunday (over my panties, otherwise they would be unwearable in no time, especially considering that He is keeping me wet 24 hrs a day). I had never felt happier in my life, it felt as if he was really holding me. I could feel his skin on mine for the first time. It drove me crazy with love and gratitude.

Today, I need to buy a ribbon to wear as a choker. The idea came to me suddenly yesterday, and when I told Him, he approved, so I must not forget! I love Him with all my heart…I can’t believe how happy I feel.

Day 4

Thursday July 22, 2010

6 am

I am wearing my master’s ribbon (for lack of a proper collar) and it suits me fine. I think I look very sweet and sexy in it. Master loved it, too, he was so pleased to see me wearing it! I’m feeling quite submissive today…I think sir will love it. I would sit on his lap or at his feet all day if I could. Some days my need to be his pet is stronger than others, or rather some days I feel more like a sweet little pet and others a bit wilder. Today I’d massage him and cook for him, bring him coffee, kiss him softly…I can’t wait for our life together (in the same home) to begin.

8 pm

He has asked me to write a list of punishments that he could apply to me when I am there. I think that punishments should be ‘punishments’ (and I’m sure so does he). They should be enjoyable, while I embarrass myself doing stuff that I’d normally blush to do, for instance, that he might delight in watching me doing it. I came up with a strip tease with music and all, I know it’s not punishment, but it’s something that perhaps I wouldn’t normally do without feeling very self conscious. I also thought of the butt plug, wearing it at home while doing simple, daily chores should be fun. Or not, I really don’t know…we’d need to test that one first. And finally (he asked for 3), being given a thorough medical examination, including enema. I hate doctors, I don’t know why medical play turns me on.

Anyway, on the one hand I am feeling more comfortable with being his pet, wearing his collar all day has been wonderful. On the other hand, I wonder if it is the result of relaxing the discipline a bit. I was doubtful at first as to how the dynamic between us would be, and I think it is harder to be a subbie than I thought. I usually find myself being pushy or a bit demanding in ways that perhaps I shouldn’t. Steve hasn’t complained, and I’m glad, because I want to be myself, not a fabrication. I do like him to dominate me sexually, and I feel turned on by him collaring me too, don’t get me wrong. But I just cannot stop being assertive and outspoken. I don’t think that’s the way I’d like things to be, nor he. In any case, we will discuss it on Sunday, when this experiment – which I think has been largely successful and which will bring about lots of positive consequences – comes to an end, in a way. I don’t think that I will stop feeling protected by him, nor he protective of me. But I do want to have the chance of initiating things, and seducing him, and teasing him, and defying him.

Day 5

Friday July 23, 2010

Last night I made a buttonhole and put a button on my ribbon, so it would stay in place and didn’t loosen up. It feels a bit too tight, but that can be easily fixed. Master was pleased, I think he loves knowing that I do stuff to be a better pet. I think it makes him feel loved and appreciated. I think that he is the most wonderful man in the planet, and I am just too lucky to have been found by him. I am glad that I can do a little something and that it means so much to him.

He has asked me to send him my ‘worn’ undies, the pair I bought on Wednesday and that I wore all day yesterday. My first reaction was to freak out, because my smell…you know, I wouldn’t like him to eat me if I am not out of the shower, otherwise I know I can smell quite ‘heady’…notice the euphemism. But I can’t deny my master anything, so I agreed. And I also felt reassured when he told me that he wanted me to spray the clothes with my perfume too. When I removed them last night, my knickers smelled pungently of me. I have told him that my smell changes along the month, and as I approach my period, the smell gets more intense. Besides, since I find myself wet practically all day, the pantyliner is a poor remedy. To make matters ‘worse’, he had me masturbate for him wearing them last night. Bottom line, I sprayed them with my favourite perfume (L’eau by Kenzo) but you can still sense my musky pussy there…I will try to post them this afternoon, and hopefully he will get them in about 10 days or so.

Day 6

Saturday, July 24, 2010.

6.30 am

Oh, my master has asked me to be naked but for my collar and to have the lube ready this morning. Last night I was a bit tipsy and sleepy so he sent me to bed. But before he showed me his beautiful hard cock…he takes my breath away. I love his cock, and I can’t wait to be on my knees before him. So he teased me for a while (and I admit I teased him back), he was very turned on from the look of his cock, but he stopped masturbating just to tease me, just to keep me waiting. I love his strong will and determination, I admire him so much. He can make this kind of ‘efforts’ for our sake. I am so in love with him. Of course I came to bed and though I was very wet, I didn’t touch myself. He, because he is the master, could have masturbated later, he has no restrictions. But I like waiting. It makes me feel powerful and also worthy of his love.

10.00

Oh dear god…my master is just soooo amazing. He made me come twice, and it was so delicious. I love it that he can command me like that…the first time he made me masturbate till I was on the edge and then allowed me to come for him. It was great. The second time he wanted us to come together. He made me suck my ‘dildo’ as if I was sucking him first. It was coated with lube and my juices. Then he made me masturbate in unison with him. I copied his rhythm. He told me that we had to come together, but his rhythm was too much for me, soon I was on the edge and desperate to come. Having to wait for him was a delicious torture. When I heard him close I thought I was going to die of desire, I had to stop a couple of times or I would have come before my master. I loved it when we finally did. I think that waiting, knowing that I couldn’t come, made me feel sexier. I also loved the realization that his rhythm is so delicious.

Day 7

Sunday, July 25, 2010.

00:00

I am writing my last post on this diary for now. I needed to write a ‘conclusion’ to the experience. In short, I loved it. It opened lots of doors I think and closed none. I was a bit worried about how it would work, and it worked wonderfully as usual with Steve. We blend in perfectly together; we are just made for one another. He understands me like no one else. I love what I saw in him these days. He was so happy; his happiness alone makes it all worth it.

What is more, I was a bit unsure about whether I’d feel humiliated as a pet. I really didn’t. I truly do love him, admire him, worship him…it is not out of ownership alone but the other way round: because I admire him so much, because I feel so loved by him, because he protects me so, I am his entirely.

I wouldn’t want to pigeonhole our relationship in any way. And I know neither does he, but I know that he is naturally more dominant than me, and loves it, and I am more submissive. So I suppose that’s already there, there’s no need to push things. He loves feeling that he owns me, and he does…why bother denying it? But I own him too…he’s mine and he knows it.

This week felt like honeymoon. I felt as if we had taken a huge step towards a higher level of commitment and trust, only comparable with getting married. I am overjoyed. But I look forward to calling him other names and not just sir and master…I used to love calling him Mr ******** and how he used to call me Mrs ******** or Mrs * when we were being sexy or kinky. Just a minor detail, really. The essence is immutable. And has been there from the outset. Perhaps we just didn’t want to say it aloud.

Thank you my love. I treasure everything about you. I have never had more respect or admiration for anyone.